Tips For Divorce Mediation

Regardless of whether or not you are planning to get legal assistance with your divorce, going through divorce mediation is usually a good idea. It helps you and your spouse figure out important decisions and make compromises because you have a neutral third party listening to both you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse's concerns. However, divorce mediation is not the easiest process and is by no means guaranteed to have a positive outcome. Here are some tips for making sure that your mediation goes well.

1. Get Both Parties Signed On

The first thing that you are going to want to do is get both parties totally signed on to divorce mediation. Divorce mediation is not going to work unless both you and your soon-too-be-ex spouse are willing to do it. If you are signed on to the idea of divorce mediation and your partner is not, then you are going to need to help him or her get on board. Make a list of pros and cons of going to divorce mediation, be as flexible as possible with your schedule so that he or she doesn't have an excuse about not having the time to go when you can go, and agree to let him or her speak first for as long as he or she wants to during the first session.

2. Have All Of Your Lists Ready to Go

Make lists of all of your assets before you go in, including all of the electronics in your house that are jointly owned, joint bank accounts or other financial assets that you both have stakes in, all of the real estate you both own, all of your income statements and those of your partner's, and any shared debt. This will help you go into the mediation feeling prepared. Make a copy of any forms so that your soon-to-be-ex spouse's team can have the exact same information. This will help decrease tension and show that you are ready to negotiate.

3. Breathe

Go to yoga before the first mediation session and before every session hereafter. Sit in your car and listen to a meditation CD for fifteen minutes. Do something to get your emotions under control. You are going to be doing yourself a disservice if you are not willing to listen and only want to argue. 

4. Figure Out What You Need to Survive

Finally, before you go, make a list of musts that you need to have. This is the minimal level that you know that you cannot go beneath. Having a baseline for monthly expenses, equipment, and housing will allow you to feel secure making compromises as long as they don't go beneath this level.

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